Training a Positive Eye

I’m currently reading a book given to us by Ezen...

New York Times Bestseller “The Five Love Languages”

by Dr. Gary Chapman

Throughout the years I’ve been casually taught on many occasions abt THE “5 love languages”, and also used many parts of it during our marriage counselling sessions... However, reading the book in a quiet corner dawned new light!

A few things I learnt:
TRUE LOVE requires discipline & conscious effort (& the need for personal growth)

Many people fall in and out of love thinking that they’ve stopped loving the other party, without realising that TRUE LOVE goes beyond the emotional lovey-dovey and romanticism.
To make a r/s last, it takes discipline to do things that make the other party tick (speaking their love language) and a conscious effort to keep doing it though it may be unnatural for u to!
Also, true love is giving the person space to do the things that make them grow. Like giving your guy space to play computer games, go fishing, doing the “dude” things so that they can BE HAPPY....!

And in respond,

-> the partner appreciates and is enriched by your effort

-> u get a sense of satisfaction

-> u keep doing it!
So it goes in a cycle... a good healthy cycle of lurrrrvvveeeee..........

Time to refill the love tank!

Love Language #1: WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
The bible says in Prov 12:25: Worry weighs a person down, an encouraging word cheers a person up

How true...! In the book, Dr Chapman wrote “All of us have areas in which we feel insecure. We lack courage and the lack of courage often hinders us from accomplishing the positive things we would like to do.”

When I first started to learn photography, it was the positive encouragement from many friends that affirmed me of my works. And that helped push & motivate me to take more!
So I guess it’s the same for any relationship... When your boyfriend does something nice, praise him! When he does something sweet, give him a pat on the back instead of comparing with other-perfect-men-on-the-earth (ie: male leads in Korean dramas).

Not only do these lessons work in a BGR/marriage relationship, I’m pretty sure these could help me deal with my in-laws, my siblings, my friends too!

I began to reflect if I had been any encouragement at all to anyone, and I find myself beginning to think about the times that I enthusiastically told a friend how good their works are, how I tell Randy that I’m marrying the right man coz he’s faithful & capable (not to mention handsome... hohohoh...) and writing comments in someone else’s blog to tell them “blog more! I’m reading!”...
Are these enough? I think in God’s eye, any amount of encouragement for others will never be enough. Gotta continue to train a positive eye to see others and learn to praise them when they’re at it! ;)